What a great question! It relaly depends on the age of the kid, but there are a few general principles you can follow. First, you pick your battles before you are in your battles. This makes the entire process easier. For example, I recently posted a list of rules for Gus’s behavior in the middle of the dining room where it is easily viewed at all times. I wanted him to know exactly how he is expected to behave. Since he’s only three, there are only four rules. Too many more and he’d be overwhelmed. But these are the most important ones. Like no hitting or kicking. So, when he breaks one of his well defined rules, he has knowingly crossed into the battlefield. And this is when I choose to stand my ground on my side of the battlefield. Make sense?The hard part is when behavior falls outside of the “rule zone.” This is when it gets relaly tricky. I have to stop and ask myself, “is this a big deal?” I have to be honest and admit that there are lots of times when I am engaged in batt le simply because I want things to go my way. I can be just as stubborn as any toddler. And if I am trying to leave the house and he is taking foreeeeverrrrrr to put his shoes on, I can easily start demanding he do what I ask him to do. These are instances where it is more about my behavior than his. It’s under the guise of teaching him to follow directions and do what he is told, but a significant amount of the time it is relaly about my impatience and lack of control over the situation. I have to constantly remind myself to let these instances go.There are those times when my answer to the question of whether it is a big deal results in yes. If you can answer yes then these are the times then you should engage in following through on your directions. Just as it is important to have clearly defined rules, it is equally important to have clearly defined consequences. Children function at their best (and we do too) when they know exactly how they are expected to behave in any situation and what happens if t hey do not meet expectations.Most importantly, whatever you choose to do and whichever guidelines you decide to implement- be consistent. Consistency is key in any type of behavior management. hat die Battle gewonnen!